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Google Fails: Exterminate Part 4

by Chris Fielden on April 26, 2013

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I have conducted 3 experiments to date, investigating the marvellous (and often frightening) world of people’s search engine habits. They often result in amusing (scary) Google fails. You can see them here:

I thought my work was done. I’d proved that the Daleks were right in trying to exterminate humanity. Surely things couldn’t get any worse…

I was wrong. Extremely wrong. It’s not just the Daleks we should be worried about. If there are any intelligent lifeforms out there and they find us and study our use of technology – particularly the internet – they will all come to the same conclusion, no matter what the temperament their species might have: humans should not be allowed to survive.

Google’s Failure: The Proof

This morning, I began to type an innocent query into Google and was presented with this:

There was nothing I could do. Exterminate 4 had to happen.

The Science of Exterminate 4

As always, the science is simple. But this time, instead of using a question, I’ve used a statement.
My research shows that people frequently type statements into Google. Why? Maybe they think Google needs to know that they are “extremely absolutely boiling”? I’m not sure who they think might care / will do anything about it, but they seem to let Google know anyway.
So, I’ve taken the statement “I am extremely” and followed it with each letter of the alphabet. Below are my findings. Enjoy, my friends. May the results fill your Friday with joy.

I am Extremely…

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Summary

Are internet users causing these types of query to be presented? I’ve witnessed reality television, so know it’s possible. But I’m beginning to wonder… How advanced is Google, really? Is it as cutting edge as we are led to believe? From what I can see, its edge cuts as effectively as a pilchard through granite. A dead pilchard, which has travelled the digestive tract of a bear.

I’ll be honest – at the end of the day, I don’t really care. It’s Friday. I need something to laugh about.

Image Source: Smabs Sputzer on Flickr

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About the Author

Chris is Operations Director at Strategy Digital Towers and oversees many of our client’s creative projects. He has had humorous short stories published through various competitions and magazines both on and offline, hence some of his blog posts are of a fictional nature.

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    Comments

  • Ruth Lever Kidson

    April 30, 2013 at 11:53 am

    I agree entirely with your findings. As a result of reading your articles, I put ‘I am worried about’ into Google – and it came up with “you”, “my mental health”, “my memory” and “my future”. Case proved, I think.